Doctor Jokes and Health Advice
While tending her window garden, Molly looks up see The Grumpy Philosopher walking in the door. The man could clear out a room like your father come home from a bad day. He has taken to heart Heidegger's injunction "don't avoid the void." In fact, his capacity to reflect on human mortality is so prodigious that they say he can actually see the sword of Damocles hanging over the head of each of Molly's Pub's patrons.
The other patrons, in their turn, cast furtive glances at watches and one can hear the quiet but purposeful collection of jackets and hats and parcels as the patrons with the greatest alacrity flee. Like flies in the web, the more sluggish or least attentive are trapped by the demands of common courtesy. You might as well make yourself comfortable and have a seat for it will take a few minutes for someone to trigger a fire drill.
This evening The Grumpy Philosopher is in rare form having just left his doctor's office in which the creaky joints of his advanced years, a less than optimal genotype, and the extra pounds of a sedentary lifestyle combine to bring out the sharpest barbs of a wit that tends to sarcasm.
Insult to Injury
Modern opinion ensures
Your physician does not dispense cures.
Was a time to be ill
Was the sole bitter pill
Now if something is wrong, the fault's yours.
Just Do It or Don't Do It
So then clearly, the answer for you
Lies in ceasing whatever you do
Or to do what you don't
For they're sure if you won't
Dire consequences will ensue.
Free Advice
Doctors scarce individualize
Their advice, so a word to the wise
Just listen to me
'Cause I'll tell you for FREE
The solution is "more exercise."
The Grim Anteroom
In the medical book formulary
Lies that exercise thing's corollary
Beyond pills, walks, and such
Don't enjoy life so much!
For it's bad to eat, drink and be merry!
Ah, the joyful timbrel of a clanging alarum bringing release admidst confusion. Shall we escape doctor jokes and head for the geek room?
