 |
Forgot Your BirthdayEdwards appears distraught. He has forgotten pen and paper, as is his wont, such failures being part and parcel of a day in his life. He is trying to work “forgot your birthday” or “I’m sorry I forgot” into a limerick poem for his dear friend, the Lady Chatterley, It is a bit of a sticky wicket, for the phrases do not weave well into the same five brief lines which begin with “There once was a girl from….” His beard bristles, and his pince-nez have slipped to the end of his nose as he scratches phrases upon the back of our tally pads. Kathleen has provided him with one of the blunt two inch pencils we pass around on trivia night, without erasers, of course, for the customer is always right. Kathleen is slammed presently, but should the pub quiet down a bit, she will take pity on the elderly gentleman and dash off a selection for him to choose from to include in a card. A man of means, with vast estates, Edward nevertheless shops at those enormous discount warehouses where one may purchase greeting cards in bulk, beautiful to look at, but noticeably deficient in doggerel within, in fact, totally blank, leaving the customer to fend for himself. Someone forgot your birthday? How sad, Kathleen wishes you the best... Forgot Your Birthday My slip-up is sad but not fatal Forgetting the day of your natal Could we just pretend I remembered, my friend, And call it a gift perinatal? Déclassé Today on this wonderful day Your father and mother convey The news of your birth Which I forgot . Worth Repenting my sad déclassé Possibly these handsome cards may be sold so inexpensively for the writer need not be paid? In this manner, the manufacturer may avoid paying the vast sums poets and authors may command for these services, for good writing is revered in America. Often, it seems there exists a direct and positive relationship between wealth and frugality, does there not? Truth be known, Edward is a bit of a miser, and his friends have come to content themselves with a card, should he even remember that. Kathleen, on the other hand, is rich in friendships, and a significant portion of her meager wages is budgeted for shopping for wedding, birthday, or anniversary gifts. Indeed, her closet bulges with bridesmaids gowns, furnished with delightful furbelows and flounces; all worn once. She is unsure of what to do with them, for they are firmly declined by the resale shops, and even the young woman at the thrift shop looks askance upon them. Birthdays Sneak Up These birthdays sneak up on us, so May I ask your forgiveness, for though I'm disorganized Your friendship is prized It's my treat, where would you like to go? Forgot and Friend is Slightly Ticked Recently was your red-letter day I forgot it. So what can I say? You're still a great friend Forgetting's my trend And you're aging too slow, anyway. Forgot and Friend is Really Ticked Recently was your red-letter day I forgot it. So grant me leeway. I didn't intend To hurt or offend And you still look too young anyway. If you copy from funny birthday poems, please do not forget to attribute to Jeannette Ramirez as author (unless otherwise noted.) Webmasters, thank you for supporting this project by linking. For the poem count at Here Be Limerick Poems visit our home page. Hate to have to say, "Forgot your birthday?" Next year, check here first...
|
