Here Be Free Poems on Retirement

Here be free poems on retirement for someone dear should you require some scrap of wit to mark the occasion. Your friend must be properly feted for decades of loving service to his family and community; it is only good and proper.

Edward suggests a cruise is always in good taste, and he often expounds upon retirement pasttimes and how to afford them. Indeed, he frequently surrenders himself to the indulgence of efficient but solicitous wait staff to visit a cousin, regrettably transplanted to the Colonies.

Such culinary adventures, admittedly, have rendered him a bit corpulent, yet every difficulty has its remedy. Free poems on retirement or retirement poems songs for singing? Kathleen isn't much of a singer, and chooses poems for retirement celebrations instead, her means being more modest. Often, she supplements this with a token gift, for she is a good soul. She prefers the personal touch, and will tailor her offering to the particular talents and hobbies of her retiring friends.

You're tired of a diet of apples
And dry cleanable clothes blotched with dapples
From small, sticky fingers.
When nostalgia lingers,
Go to Maui and stuff on pineapples.

You've seen horrid papers galore,
Correcting until you were sore
From sitting all day
Now it's your turn to play,
And that's what retirement's for.

Confined with kids nearly preverbal
And their prattle, and chatter, and burble
Now it's time to go home,
Let your sub find a home
For the tarantula and the gerbil.

Intercepting passed notes, chewing gum,
What a tyrant you feel you've become!
Find some hobbies diverse,
Join adults and converse
In syllables greater than one.

Counselors

Establishing trust and rapport
As the counselor students adore
So you're leaving today?
Now it's your turn to play,
And that's what retirement's for.

Office Workers

Entering data galore
On a keyboard until you were sore
From sitting all day
Now it's your turn to play,
And that's what retirement's for.

Free Poems on Retirement

So now that your husband's retired
---Let's hope not because he was fired.
He'll be underfoot
Changing all that it took
To make your home what you desired.

So now that you have a full day
To sleep late, to molt, and to play,
Let's hope you're inspired
Now that you're retired
Why not make a site on EBay?

Perhaps your reactions are mixed
Neither blessing nor curse, an admix.
Your IRA's ripened,
And government stipend
Together ensure you're well-fixed.

You say you were not wise with funding?
That 401k's moribunding?
Hope Plan B's elastic,
Say "Paper or plastic?"
That neglect's ill-effects then obtunding.


As for yourself, have you squirreled away enough assets? Does your mattress bulge effulgently, providing you with a proper night's sleep, or does it sag like an eviscerated teddy bear?

While Kathleen seems particularly obtuse about things relating to finance, far too busy writing free poems on retirement, Edward manages quite well with revenues from his estate.


He hopes that you arm yourself with facts in anticipation of this milestone. It is time to sharpen your quill and update your accounts after reading these free poems on retirement.

If the numbers are not what you expected, please don't whine, it will do you no good. Edward suggests you contact the appropriate professionals before you even consider your childrens' guest rooms. Admittedly, they would be delighted to see so much of you, but still, it might unduly limit your private entertaining. Who is retiring? Oh, please, can that occupation possibly be done in limerick form? Well, we will try.