Funny Hilarious Poems on Dieting

Some funny hilarious poems in the form of the limerick. At Molly's Virtual Pub, as always, we honor the limerick poem first attributed to Edward Lear, that master of funny hilarious poems. Tonight, the theme is dieting, for what is more hilarious than the national past time of slimming down?

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Every dieter knows the "plateau"
Where the scale will not budge, even though
You have passed up the treat
Of a drink or a sweet
But your weight loss is more "stop and go."

Eat your breakfast as if you were king
Eat your lunch like a prince. Everything
That nutritionists say
At the end of the day
You should dine like you lived on a string.

Tonight I am fixing some crab
For a meal that is far, far from drab
With some butter to dip
And my best workmanship
Let us hope it won't wind up as flab.

Somebody pass the quaalude
For this dieting dampens my mood.
Oh, I wish I could spare
The bite here, the bite there,
But, unfortunately, I like food.

Of the pleasures to which we all cling.
They are pretty much all fattening
Or illegal, perhaps,
Or a sad moral lapse
Makes you wonder who set up this thing?

This chapter of Here Be Limerick Poems begins a series on funny life situations that we produce for our own amusement. This means that dieting, pets, housekeeping, e-mail, funny human quirks, and the condition of my office are all fair game.

And where does the Muse deliver funny poems? Wherever it is most inconvenient.
- That gal has a sense of humor.

Funny hilarious poems on pets, anyone?
Well, geeks are funny.
In this economy, how to become rich is DEFINITELY funny.
E-mail fun.
What could be funnier than pregnancy?
The never ending search for the perfectly healthy diet.
Pregnancy Fun Stuff
The Married State
Limericks on Angst A Kid Screaming in the Car Seat
Funny Insults
Life with a Teenager
Funny Simile Poems
Every Woman Needs One
Funky Finance
Life in Techno-Hell. Pretty funny stuff about dealing with gadgets.