Good Writing Skills Statistics And Writing Advice According To Molly

Writing Better

You can obtain good writing skills statistics within Microsoft Word by making certain that your grammar checker is on, and then enduring not only the spell check, but also the grammar check, which is, admittedly, tiresome with its advice.

You will be rewarded at the end of that ordeal by some lovely statistics that denote the number of passive sentences, the Flesch reading ease, and the Flesch-Kincaid grade level you have acheived. This page, for example, came in at grade level 5, about halfway through the year. If that frightens, don’t be alarmed, it only means that the writing is fairly straightforward, not juvenile.

If those are not enough "good writing skills statistics," go to http://www.topicalizer.com/ and drown in their wondrous glory. Molly often does, but then feels chastened by the realization that time has passed by and no real writing has been accomplished. We trust you will be more disciplined.

Limericks are poems, and sadly, there is no poetry writing software for windows that can actually do the work for you. Poetry is both art and science, and should the meter be perfect, and the content both clear and concise, the poet takes delight, and life is good. It is precisely working within the limits of the formal structure that make the poet smile. It is wordplay.

As a female writing poetry, limerick poetry, that is, Kathleen has an additional concern---the limerick is traditionally bawdy, and she is not up to it.

For your information, eventually the pub will have free poetry writing contests (we know you cannot wait). In the meantime, an excellent poetry writing dictionary, small but serviceable, is Merriam-Wester’s Pocket Rhyming Dictionary. Kathleen’s is bended, folded, and mutilated. Should you have no interest in good writing skills statistics, smile at toasts and roasts instead.

Writers write. Do it every day. Your work will get better, for with practice, good writing skills statistics and just plain good writing can be perfected. Use whatever tools you have available to develop good writing skills statistics or take classes, like the Cultural Literacy one that Molly teaches. Words are dear and must not be wasted, so aim for terseness of expression.

Mark Twain once wrote to a friend, "Sorry for the long letter. I didn't have time to write a short one." This is SO true.

Enough said.

The active tense is better than the passive. Keep passive verbs below 3%. Some are unavoidable.

Spell check and correct punctuation as well as you can but don't let it make you crazy. Experienced editors do not compile statistics but read for clarity to determine good writing skills. We are all human and mistakes will happen. Commas have some wiggle room. Some software may help. I use StyleWriter, which often takes exception to archaic terms, which I persist using nevertheless for the sake of the pub's reputation.

Watch out for the misused phrase, "like" should often be more properly "such as."

For a discussion of this, I refer you to the knowledgeable James Kilpatrick, who winces at such improprieties, and no doubt scold you should he note one in your verbiage. I believe he also scribbles limericks from time to time, and approves of them, for the discipline, which they bring to the art of writing.

Show, don't tell. So much has been written about this, that we need not elaborate.

Check with the Chicago Manual of Style if you can figure out how it's indexed, and unless you are writing science (APA) or your own regrettable thesis (which uses MLA). Take care when you pick it up for you may get a hernia.

There was a man from Serbska Sernia
Who developed a most hurtful hernia
Defied Workers' Comp,
--Danger his wont--
That's what lifting those boxes will earn 'ya.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

*Yes, there really is a Serbska Sernia (spelled phonetically here) and yes, it really does rhyme with hernia.

Eschew adverbs where possible and check for trite, tired phrases.

My particular follies include: Sort of, very likely, and, at any rate, and others I cannot think of at present. Somewhere on my desk, this list resides, if I could only find it. One cannot expect to find anything specific upon this desk for it groans under the weight of books, papers, and an abundance of equipment that would impress the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

Try to maintain your "point of view." This is critical to fiction writing and for writing content on your Web site (i.e., don't slip from third person to first without signaling.)

*Note: on some pages, Molly uses the royal "we," not because she feigns royalty, but rather for effect. Please permit her the device for the sake of its utility.

Seek out another pair of eyes if you have a friend who teaches English, or a tolerant family member who is in a related field. However, should you not you will want to afford yourself the benefits of good editing and proofreading.

Now, take a deep breath and put your writing in an envelope, put a stamp on it, and get it out the door.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.…patiently for the SASE to return your rejected document.

Ask for a hug, lick your wounds and...

Loop back to item one.

Do not end loop.

And that, in a nutshell, is the guide to good writing skills statistics for pub patrons. Statistics do help. You might even wish to try a "concordance." See the web or the software by that name produced by R.J.C. Watt. Now wasn't that painless?

Good grief, who put that clunky phrase about "good writing skills statistics" on this page? Oh, right, that was a funky keyword phrase...;-) As usual, your comments are welcome...