I Need a Wife
A Straight Woman's Lament
The "I Need a Wife Series" speaks to the buzz among the distaff crew. How many times have I heard my girlfriends say, "I need a wife!" It must be a private joke that only women understand.
We don't say it too loudly - the guys might overhear...that starts the conversation about how much they are helping out around the house - and I'm not even going to go there - well, ladies, YOU know!
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Funny Poems Here!
What Steinem said was on the mark
Beginning publication
Of magazines like "Ms." that hark
To women's liberation.
Progress
Women were objectified
Now things are so much better
We've turned the corner, turned the tide
And shaken off the fetter.
Multi-tasking
Not only do we clean the house
And raise the little brood
But now we get to go to work
Yet tear home to fix food.
In Conclusion
The guys are taking up some slack
That's true, more power to 'em
But they have miles and miles to track
To working like a woman.
Chorus: No Wife
Every woman relishes
That now she has a "life."
The only thing that's hellish is
She doesn't have a wife.
Proctor's Keep Order
A wife to make appointments
With the dentist and the doctor
To ride herd on the kid's events
So add that job as "proctor."
Filing
Modern life brings paper
And like autumn leaves, they're piling
To lofty heights - a skyscraper
And women do the filing.
Errand
The pantries do not fill themselves
Shopping, buying, pick your gerunds!
Dry cleaning will not get itself
So tack on "doing errands."
Chorus: No Wife
Every woman relishes
That now she has a "life."
The only thing that's hellish is
She doesn't have a wife.
Now check out the silliness when your spell check glosses over those troublesome homonyms.
If you are reading "I need a wife" you want a laugh. Here's more about teens in the house.
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