Lawyer Roast

The "Lawyer Roast" comes naturally to our family, one that has five of them. However, they give as good as they get, so not to worry that their delicate psyches will be damaged!

Net Worth

Should you find yourself in prosecution
Your attorneys will find resolution.
If the plaintiffs should score
From your guts and your gore
Hope your net worth is not the solution.

Under a Lien

If your property's under a lien
Or the title's bad, meaning unclean
Leave the grief in the lap
Of your lawyer ASAP
Take yourself to realms antipodean.

Strict Negligence

Should you want to avoid litigations,
Civil law is about obligations
Have a pool with no fence?
That is strict negligence
And it’s you who is labelled causation.

Divorce

If your partner is seeking divorce
That's a matter for lawyers, of course
is your ex feeling mean?
is she trying to clean
out your savings and every resource?

Tort Definition

For a screw-up that you'll need to thwart
If a civil wrong, that's called a tort
You behaved tortiously
and you harmed property
Or their bodies? They'll see you in court.

Sine Qua Non

A barrister’s pressing exigencies
Had him practicing law with contingencies
His sine qua non?
An old student loan
And its fiscally restricting stringencies.

Do We Need Them?

Pay your bills, make your wills, file tax more.
All behaviors that lawyers adore.
If we did what they say
Would we need them? No way!
Makes you wonder what lawyers are for?

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