Literacy Education Online: The 16th Century

Good grief! Here comes Isaac, the autodidact, with his current projects: literacy education online, for teens as well as general writing.

He can clear out a room in a twinkle, as he comes, bearing his gems of cultural literacy. The American public regards such gifts as, well, the Trojans did a certain wooden horse, that is to say, with some trepidation.

1500 CE ArithmeticSymbols, "+"  And "-," Are Introduced In Europe.

Higher math in oldEurope had dryness
As its feature. Therewas little of wryness
And its tools, they wererough
Making math really tough
Until came the "+" andthe "-."

1500 CE In England, TheMiddle Class Becomes Increasingly Literate

Around 1500 we see
The new growth ofliteracy
Cheeky nobles,unpleasant,
Were amazed that thepeasant
could read. Now wewon't; there's TV.

1500 CE " The PortableClock Comes To Europe. "

Out of earshot from thebell
Of the church, whichtimed hours with knell
From its tower. Tick tock
Came the portable clock
To the slower pacedlife, say farewell.

Not that the American public is opposed to culture, of course. In fact, it is considered "quaint." Literacy education online even makes it less odious. Indeed, many seekers of wisdom have belonged to Great Books Reading Groups, those tomes which Molly defines as ones which everyone wishes to have read but nobody reads. Such erudite groups sputter and die, for the member comes first with enthusiasm, but pressed down by mundane concerns, eventually fails to complete assigned readings. Unable to participate in a meaningful discussion of the text, she feels as she did in her public school days, when her homework was not finished. Perhaps she could blame the dog? Maybe she could take her literacy education online? Given that Kathleen's vocabulary isn't too shabby, one might be surprised by how little reading she actually does these days, getting much of her literacy education online with Wikipedia. Between her work in the pub, freelance writing services, non-fiction, volunteer teaching, and fiction writing, who has the time? Nevertheless, it is quite necessary to quaff deeply from the fountain of knowledge, so you will often find her buzzing about the pub while connected to her iPod(TM), one fairly stuffed with eBooks about literature, history, philosophy, economics and the like.

1502 CE The Pocketwatch.

And for the first time it occurred
To the merchant to offer a word
Decrying debauch
With his new pocketwatch
Of late clerks; all who found him absurd.

1504 CE " Michelangelo Sculpts the "David. "

Michelangelo sculpts his fine David
Poised to take down Goliath, and braved it
With sly subterfuge
Note his hands, which are HUGE,
Out of scale with the body he gave it.

1510 CE The Garden of Earthly Delights by Dutch Artist Hieronymus Bosch

The Garden of Earthly Delights
Hieronymus Bosch hits new heights
Of nightmarish précis
Which are pretty racy
With sex, torture, and other plights.

It drives the customers batty, for they must endeavor to catch her eye to receive service to the table. Indeed, Molly observes that her wait staff is, as a group, most adept at avoiding eye contact with those pesky patrons. Yet, she feels empathy for them, from her own days of service at table before she became the proprietor of the pub. "The food service job" is practically an American tradition, ubiquitous among the young people, and regrettably, quite necessary given the cost of higher education. Remember to tip well, for the hostess of today may be treating you in hospital tomorrow and you will want her to remember you fondly.

1511 CE The School ofAthens by Painter, Raphael

Raphael's work, infifteen eleven,
Note that Plato ispointing to heaven
Says young Aristotle
“Dissecting aratel
On earth, has more worthas a leaven.”

1516 CE Humanist andSaint, Sir Thomas More, Writes Utopia

Thomas More pens thefine work, Utopia
With wry wit and jadedmyopia
Through mouthpiece,Hythloday
Tongue in cheek, triesto say
This is no-place, infact, it's dystopia

1517 CE Martin Luther'sNinety-Five Theses Are Posted Upon The Cathedral In Wittenberg"

Martin Luther nailsninety-five theses
On a Wittenberg churchdoor to release his
Attack on the Pope
Pushed a frail envelope
Hoping sellingindulgences ceases.

1532 CE PhysicianFrancois Rabelais Writes Gargantua

Physician,François Rabelais
Is eponymous, nearlycliché
For debauchery
Wrote the book on it. He
Penned Gargantua, frank,raw, wordplay.

1555CE Nostradamus' Rhymed Centuries Offers Prophecies In France.

Nostradamus's rhymedprophecies
Are now published.Enduringly please
The public with fodder
For newsrags made odder
By content that'snothing but sleaze.

1559 CE Pope Paul IVCreates The Index Of Prohibited Books

Paul the fourth, pope,created the Index
There to list allheretical codex
Bans the books of Erasmus
Narrow-minded and crass,wish
He'd made better use ofhis cortex.