Married with Children
The Venus and Mars Series, Continued
At the pub, there is a couple, married with children, who we call Venus and Mars, to protect their privacy, yet youknow this couple; they are the ones who are forever bickering. Back andforth their barbed arrows fly, leaving all others in dumbfounded wondermentthat they still seem to make it work for the many years they have beentogether. Perhaps it is some form of entertainment we are unaware of? Itcertainly entertains the rest of the patrons. If you care to eavesdrop (andhow could you resist?) take a seat:
Him: Cleaning Up the Kitchen
I don't want to lean on your style
But should you consider worthwhile
The effort to clean
Up this kitchen would mean
I could find something in this stockpile.
Her: Reply to the Kitchen
The mess here distresses? I see
Well, you know, there are those who agree
That grown men are able
To clear off a table
And use a broom, too, hopefully.
Throughout the room, hackles rise as other couples, married, and with or without children, are stirred todiscontent, and they begin to take sides, fragmenting along gender lines.
One supposes that in the dim and ancient past, the first of suchconversations was heard, with the cave man suggesting that his mate runafter the game, and he'd dig for the roots and berries? She replies that shecould if he would tend the baby, he points out that his equipment isinsufficient to the task, and they're off! Is gender destiny?
Are you likewise married with children? Without children? No matter, if your anniversary is coming up, step this way should all this bickering be getting you down.
Him: Bedmaking
Now I tell you, how often I've read
That some people make their own bed
Every day, faithfully
So consider it. We
Could benefit from the foresaid.
Her: Bedmaking
Hospital corners are free
I suggest that you try them and see
How nice the bed looks
And that is the crux
Of the matter in my fantasy.
Mars and the Cars
So you think you're ill-suited, I see,
To complete manly chores? Let's agree
Between Venus and Mars
Just who'll wash the cars?
The hose doesn't care, why should we?
Venus and the Cars
You're determined to try to annoy? Bet
That's a chore most men kind of enjoy. Yet
That's okay by me
We'll exchange pleasantly—
I'll trade you the cars for the toilet.
Venus and Mars. One begins to wish they were the type of couple, rather morecommon, like the two in the corner over there, also married with children, who disagree in stony silencethroughout their meal. It depresses us all to see them sitting there,stoically avoiding eye contact, so we serve them very quickly in the hopesthat they will leave. In fact, I think I'll take the tally over now.
