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Older Than Dirt
Challenge: For Her: Knees Like MapsThe girl at the counter was curt
“Do you think you should wear that short skirt?
Your knees look like maps
Here's a long one, perhaps
It will hide them, you're older than dirt.”
If it's your sister's birthday and you are feeling a bit wicked, here are some free sibling birthday poems for a toast and roast.
When the estrogen goes, how it dares
To give you the odd, stray chin hairs
And crows' feet as well
Ain't menopause hell?
Here's hoping you've talents elsewheres!
Challenge: Birthday Rhyming Poems For InvitationsVariation: Knees Like Chins
The girl at the counter was curt
“Do you think you should wear that short skirt?
Your knees look like chins
And exposing them? Sins
Cover up there, you're older than dirt.”
Ouch! Kathleen’s barbs are a bit pointed tonight. Invariably, patrons visit the pub on their birthdays to note the occasion, or to seek solace as those mile markers zip by on the highway to some destination swathed in fog up ahead. It is a motorway without exit ramps, nor even a shoulder to pull off on. All the vehicles must keep moving for the driver behind is leaning into his horn, and at around six billion, one can smell the petrol fumes, and there is near gridlock. At any rate, this pale horse is quite beaten. Variation: From Your Caddy
The caddy unnerved you, it hurt
To suggest you weren't up to the work
To drag your own bags,
The kid only brags
He's a jerk, and you're older than dirt
What ho! You say the lass cheats and these are all similar limericks? (*Kindly note the plethora of alliteration in that phrase: "s," "i," "m," "l," and "r"). Kathleen, unaccountably amused by the theme, continues to play with it, and moreover, will continue with it until every variation has been exhausted. Variation: Golfing Buddy?
Some golfer unnerved you, it hurt
To suggest you weren't up to the work
To drive the ball far
You're still well up to par.
He's a jerk, still, you're older than dirt.
Variation: Up to Par
Some girl inadvertently hurt
Your feelings, yet still, extrovert
You indubitably are
And you're well up to par.
She's a twit, and you're older than dirt.
Should Older Than Dirt become tedious for you, Dear Reader, and you seek loftier thoughts, follow us to the next room...
eraseChallenge: Free Sibling BirthdayPoems
Some girl inadvertently hurt
Your feelings, yet still, extrovert
You indubitably are
And you're well up to par.
She's a twit, and you're older than dirt.
For He Who Winks
A sweet young thing, pretty and pert
That you winked at was heard to assert,
"Do you have a tick?"
She was just a dipstick.
So forget her, you're older than dirt.
Hmm…perhaps our patron’s brother suffers from a touch of sibling rivalry even at this late date? Tsk, tsk. Middle children never seem to let it go, do they?
At times like these, other gainful occupations seem quite attractive...
Please do not forget to attribute to Jeannette Ramirez as author unless otherwise noted. Webmasters, thank you for linking. For the poem count at Here Be Limerick Poems visit our home page.
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