Older Than Dirt

"Older than Dirt" is the theme today (with variations), and what a funny theme it is! Some are for "her" and some, on this page, for "him." Any man or woman over 39 with a birthday can relate. Better check to make sure he or she has a sense of humor, first ☺

Knees Like Maps

The girl at the counter was curt
“Do you think you should wear that short skirt?
Your knees look like maps
Here's a long one, perhaps
It will hide them, you're older than dirt.”

If it's your sister's birthday and you are feeling a bit wicked, here are some free sibling birthday poems for a toast and roast.

Menopause

When the estrogen goes, how it dares
To give you the odd, stray chin hairs
And crows' feet as well
Ain't menopause hell?
Here's hoping you've talents elsewheres!

Variation: Knees Like Chins

The girl at the counter was curt
“Do you think you should wear that short skirt?
Your knees look like chins
And exposing them? Sins
Cover up there, you're older than dirt.”

Ouch! Kathleen’s barbs are a bit pointed tonight. Invariably, patrons visit the pub on their birthdays to note the occasion, or to seek solace as those mile markers zip by on the highway to some destination swathed in fog up ahead. It is a motorway without exit ramps, nor even a shoulder to pull off on. All the vehicles must keep moving for the driver behind is leaning into his horn, and at around six billion, one can smell the petrol fumes, and there is near gridlock. At any rate, this pale horse is quite beaten.

And now some for the brothers...

Should this silliness become tedious for you, Dear Reader, and you seek loftier thoughts, follow us to the next room for some intellectual stimulation...

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