Retirement Jokes

Someone you know is dropping out of the rat race? Here's some retirement jokes you can serve up along with the cake and gold watch.

Retirement Humor

They kept moving retirement back
Sixty-two? Sixty-five? The next act
Of lawmakers could be
You must turn eighty-three
Before they will cut you some slack.

Back to Bed

Well before you began earning bread
You were toeing the line. Now instead
Of dragging your butt
To the school or job rut
You can choose to just go back to bed.

Firing Line

When they've slowed down enough to retire
It is nice to know bosses can't fire
Those who've finished their time
On the firing line
And engage now in biting satire.

Nursing Retirement

In nursing you gave of yourself
Helping others to stay in good health
And it's good that you cared
For the ill who were scared
Cause you certainly didn't get wealth.

Retired Nurse

Now it's your time to rest and relax
Take retirement days to the max
And though nursing was great
Take a breath, celebrate
Hit the road now and make some new tracks.

Retirement Hub

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