Short Funny Poems by a Guest Limericist

Short funny poems are a great way to spark creativity. May we suggest you try your hand at the sublime limerick? Read Ed's and then send in your own!

A Teacher's Limericks

Are you wondering what teachers do
When they've packed up their chalk and their glue?
Well the pasttime they pick
Is the quick limerick
And to demonstrate, here are a few:

These next three limericks are shared with you by Ed, a retired teacher with a snappy delivery.

When charged by a raging bull elephant
Standing your ground may be eloquent
But I think you'll agree
That climbing a tree.
Is the only procedure that's relevant.

In a pub on the Bay of Fundy
Gloria got drunk on a Sunday
And all the next day
On a ship to Calais
Sic transit Gloria mundi.

A seedy old bloke from Australia
When drunk just loved to regale ya
With stories erotic
Of strange and exotic
Sexual paraphernalia.

Limericks make exemplary short funny quotes, why not try your hand at a few and then share them with visitors here where the limerick is our specialty?

In the discipline of lim'rick verse
In providing a way to converse
Will appeal to the few
Who can carry it through
And like peanuts, the nibbling's a curse.

Oh, and by the way, here's yet more funny poems from Ed.

Having said that, here are some very random funny anecdotes from the wonderful folks I see every Monday at JoBeth bookstore. And since this is Ed's page, here's two new ones! (Methinks that Ed is a closet intellectual.)

If you don't mind a plot when it thickens
With pathos so cloying it sickens
If you'd not take a hatchet
To Tiny Tim Cratchet
Allow me to give you the Dickens.

In the Louvre they have a fine show
With Picasso, Monet and Corot
Not to mention that peerless
But sadly one-earless
Artist named Vinny van Gogh

...I would like to submit two musical limericks for my guest site. You probably could guess with some certainty that they would be about classical rather than contemporary musicians. Ed Beardsley

Richard Wagner was really a cad
Who betrayed every friend that he had
He ruined their lives
By seducing ther wives
But some of his music's not bad!

The music of Mozart's not deep
It'll never make macho men weep
Whatever you play us
Wolfgang Amadeus
You'll only just lull us to sleep.

I don't really feel that way about Mozart--he is my favorite composer, but when a limerick beckons--Ed B

Read some other short funny poems - birthday greetings, lots ot them!

Have you tried your hand at the limerick?

Do you have some great limerick poems to share? Limericks that you, yourself wrote?

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...