Short Funny Poems by a Guest Limericist
Short funny poems are a great way to spark creativity. May we suggest you try your hand at the sublime limerick? Read Ed's and then send in your own!
A Teacher's Limericks
Are you wondering what teachers do
When they've packed up their chalk and their glue?
Well the pasttime they pick
Is the quick limerick
And to demonstrate, here are a few:
These next three limericks are shared with you by Ed, a retired teacher with a snappy delivery.
When charged by a raging bull elephant© 2009 Ed Beardsley
Standing your ground may be eloquent
But I think you'll agree
That climbing a tree.
Is the only procedure that's relevant.
In a pub on the Bay of Fundy© 2009 Ed Beardsley
Gloria got drunk on a Sunday
And all the next day
On a ship to Calais
Sic transit Gloria mundi.
A seedy old bloke from Australia
When drunk just loved to regale ya
With stories erotic
Of strange and exotic
Sexual paraphernalia.
© 2009 Ed Beardsley
Limericks make exemplary short funny quotes, why not try your hand at a few and then share them with visitors here where the limerick is our specialty?
In the discipline of lim'rick verseOther guest pages? This section of Here Be Limerick Poems is growing rapidly with guest limericists - maybe you? - click here if you have a funny limerick or two in you.
In providing a way to converse
Will appeal to the few
Who can carry it through
And like peanuts, the nibbling's a curse.
Oh, and by the way, here's yet more funny poems from Ed.
Having said that, here are some very random funny anecdotes from the wonderful folks I see every Monday at JoBeth bookstore. And since this is Ed's page, here's two new ones! (Methinks that Ed is a closet intellectual.)
If you don't mind a plot when it thickens
With pathos so cloying it sickens
If you'd not take a hatchet
To Tiny Tim Cratchet
Allow me to give you the Dickens.
In the Louvre they have a fine showTwo more short funny poems from Ed!
With Picasso, Monet and Corot
Not to mention that peerless
But sadly one-earless
Artist named Vinny van Gogh
...I would like to submit two musical limericks for my guest site. You probably could guess with some certainty that they would be about classical rather than contemporary musicians. Ed Beardsley
Richard Wagner was really a cad
Who betrayed every friend that he had
He ruined their lives
By seducing ther wives
But some of his music's not bad!
The music of Mozart's not deep
It'll never make macho men weep
Whatever you play us
Wolfgang Amadeus
You'll only just lull us to sleep.
I don't really feel that way about Mozart--he is my favorite composer, but when a limerick beckons--Ed B
Read some other short funny poems - birthday greetings, lots ot them!
Have you tried your hand at the limerick?
Do you have some great limerick poems to share? Limericks that you, yourself wrote?
What Other Visitors Have Said
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
OH carp!
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so when I was 5,
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When a vampire come double my height.
Halloween Treats
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We're coming upon all Hallows Eve,
A day for which some still believe,
Black magic abounds,
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A Dreamers Dilemma...
One morning while trying to write
'Bout a dream that had plagued me all night
I found to my dismay
That my thoughts soon did stray
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Where I'd Like to Go
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There is somewhere that I'd like to go,
Where the trees and the cool breezes blow.
A rustle of leaves
Gives a feeling of ease
It's a place that we'...
Jaded Observations
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Not limericks, but what the hey?
Life
1
My therapist could not take time
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As pleasantly as I could say,
I told her where ...
Ode to a Pastor
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I am so grateful to you for helping me out. I was on your site looking for something. .
Then I found your page.
Then I added my OWN limerick honoring ...
Unrhythmic Limericks
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Most verses composed are unrhythmic (silent pulse here)
When it comes to writing a Limerick (silent pulse here)
There are 15 clear pulses,
not 3, unlike ...
the weird old man
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There was an old man with a beard
Who said it is just as I feared
Two owls and a hen
Four larks and a wren
Have all built their nests in my beard....
Sue
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There once was a woman named Sue
Who would keep her wig on with glue.
When her curls needed washin'
she'd exclaim "I've a notion
a quick trip through ...
Girl Power Limerick!
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Through your memory seek, search, and sift / Then share this with someone who deserves a lift!
The Great Dane From Maine
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Written by Janie Johnston, age 12, circa 1960.
There once was a man from Maine,
Who had a very charming Great Dane,
Well the Dane was tracked down,...
marian century luna
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marian eats the tuna
and the products name is luna
she taste it so delicious
but she is so malicious
then she found out that the tuna is "luma"
*Ed'...
squeezing through a small loophole
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There was a sharp lawyer named Rex,
With a diminutive organ for sex,
When arraigned for exposure,
He answered with composure,
De minimus non curat ...
Munchkin G
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A close friend of mine was off to the doctors with a sample in her pocket as she was pregnant at the time. Said sample then leaked all over her jacket....
The Kitchen Sink at Here Be Limerick Poems
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*Ed's Note - Mike is webmaster of the new http://coollimerickpoems.com/ and a talented limericist in his own right. You will be hearing more about his ...
Fun with Politicians
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As you know, Molly loves guest limericists! Here is Joe's political limerick - and though you probably know, here at the pub, we maintain a careful political ...
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