Showers
Kathleen the barmaid hears the joyful sounds of female frivolity in the pub. She very nearly tramples the other waitstaff for the privilege of serving guests in the party room. This is nothing new here at our public house. Bridal and baby parties are dear to our Kathleen, and no doubt by the end of this one, as is her wont, she will be wrapping the new bride in a toilet paper gown or rigging ribbons for the new Mom so they will break easily when she attempts to open the gift. One of these days her prince may come, and let us hope he does not turn out to be a frog.
In honor of these occasions, which is sometimes preceeded by pregnancies, Kathleen has served up a goodly portion of limerick poems for the celebration to share with you. In general, these limericks are useful as invitations, unless her mind wanders off, which it often does.
Please, won't you come to our shower?
Your presence with us at this hour
Would bring joy, so agree
With your RSVP
To an exercise in womanpower.
The theme for our party's the kitchen
Our hope is to greatly enrichen
Our new bride to be
With what, certainly
She will need, so please come and pitch in.
The theme for this party's the bath
Which is probably good for a laugh
Give the new bride a plunger?
Or a swab to exponge her
Commode of the stains that it hath?
Let us honor this soon-to-be parent
With stuff she will need. It's apparent
She hasn't a clue
Of what she'll go through
So we'll gleefully make it transparent.
Did you know (insert name)'s having a baby?Are you ready for the Wee Ones' Room?
So we're planning a shower to play. Be
A good egg and come
And help us to plumb
The depths of how silly we may be.
So let's throw a blast for the bride
We can cackle and hoot while outside
The menfolk can wonder
Without getting under
Our feet as we laugh and confide.
Pulling out all the stops with a chef, when
We honor a match made in heaven
As bride and as groom
Who will marry quite soon.
And we'll wish them some kids, maybe seven?


