Tax Accountant Irving Receivables Seinfeld

Molly's tax accountant, Irving R. Seinfeld, or IRS for short, has finally found the top of his desk after the grueling ordeal of the last tax season. It is his wont to display gravitas in his mien as suits the nature of his very serious profession. Howsomever, Kathleen cannot abide seeing a patron in the doldrums, so she serves him up a cold one with a plethora of accountant jokes.

Taxes are a theme ripe for the plucking, are they not? Very soon, IRS divulges that the "R" of his middle name stands for "receivables," which as we all know is better than "payables."

The budgeting work's almost through
But there's still one last thing I must do
Pull a hare from a hat
So that number's in black
From this column of red ones in view.

It's May, so the pressure's relieved
It's as if all my clients believed
April 15 won't come
But they still want theirs done
And they're clueless why I should be peeved.

Net worth is the old bottom line
And for others, I spend all my time
To come up with this number
And sometimes I wonder
Why I'm working on theirs, not on mine?

I see your deductions are few
You spend more than you make, and it's true
You must live in a fog
No, you can't claim the dog!
Not while I do the taxes for you.

This particular tax accountant has just left a fiscal planning session with our local school board and accordingly, Molly surreptitiously places a bottle of antacids (on a silver tray with a paper doily and a lemon wedge as garnish) on the table.

A public school budget is strapped
And so most of our teachers are trapped
Donating their own
Supplies from their home
So the kids won't be too handicapped.

Our taxpayers vote revenue
Sharing old Scrooge's world view
To make those pips squeak
So these columns are bleak
But I'll balance the lot when I'm through.

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Please do not forget to attribute to Jeannette Ramirez as author unless otherwise noted.

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