Tying the Knot
with Goodie the Wedding Planner



Moira, a girl from the Midwest, has her set on a beautiful wedding. She has come to Goodie Edwards, a wedding planner par excellence, in demand with both the wealthy and the middling. Goodie has lived on both sides of the tracks, and now sits comfortably in the middle, which makes her somewhat wary of trains.

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With many children of varying gender, temperaments, and preferences, Goodie has both done little or done much, stayed out of the way or micromanaged, as the situation requires, knowing that God is in the details.

Goodie has also worn beige and…suffice it to say that she is the soul of tact, the font of matrimonial knowledge and adept at being both direct or subtle with her advice, depending upon the circumstance. She has the knack for insulting without giving offense, the victim hardly aware that she has been skewered until hours later, when Goodie is safely out of range, and even then, not completely certain that a shot was fired.

She takes a genuine interest in her brides, which is the true secret of her success. Moira enters near tears from her efforts to keep all the parents happy within budget while still having the perfect wedding. Let us listen in.

Limerick Poems about Tying the Knot

After the Invitations Went Out…
Contrary to anticipation
Every day there's a new invitation
Because your new mother
Keeps calling with other
New guests with no hint of satiation.
Not Your Problem

If this is your problem, you may
Need to talk with your new fiance
Your simple request
To not add one more guest
Is his problem, not yours, anyway
70%/30%?

Is the breakdown of your invitees
Overwhelmingly his? This foresees
An imbalance inside
the church, then provide
random seating instead. if you please.
Tying the Knot

Before tying the knot you will find
Your task herculean Behind
This few hour event
Only you know what went
Into planning it. Don't lose your mind
.

Goodie dabs away a rivulet of Moira's mascara with a hanky from Venice tatted with a bit of blue and purchased in her halcyon days of the Grand Tour. She has a ton of them in her cedar hope chest for it is her trademark to present one to her brides, careful to characterize it as a loan (as in "can I borrow a sheet of paper?") such that it may do service as something old, new, borrowed, and blue.

Noting that Moira is feeling much better now, they move on to the pleasant busyness of the perfect wedding, beginning with the wedding favors, since that decision, at least, is simply and elegantly attended to.

Moira is finding out that a good wedding planner will ultimately save more than her fee, head off the regrettable gaffe, and make this matrimony the pleasure it should be. We can leave them now, knowing that as one of Goodie's brides, the wedding will be the perfect first day of a perfect marriage.